I wrote my last post- My Daughter’s IEP meeting- right after we got home from the meeting. I didn’t get to share many of the details and reasons why it couldn’t have gone better.Partly I think because I hadn’t given myself enough time to process it all. For many years IEP meetings for my daughter would make me feel nervous ill at ease and on the defensive. Like a threatened mama bear trying to protect her cub. I am not just any mama bear I’ve been to this rodeo before, heck I grew up at the rodeo that is special education. I am of the first generation of students who had special education in school that resembles what it is like today. Not in just one state mind you. My dad was in the military and over the course of my childhood we lived in 10 states and another country. From kindergarten to graduation I was educated in 7 of those places but more that 7 different schools by the time I was in 6th grade like my daughter it was elementary school for me not middle school like for my daughter I had 13 different teachers not including special education teachers and electives teachers.Back to my daughters IEP meeting. We were greeted by the receptionist in the office and shortly after by Mr. L. my daughter’s sped teacher/case manager and other important people who needed to be there also arrived.My daughter had been called to come to the office for the meeting.She arrived to join the meeting and I handed out the letter that my daughter and I wrote together( that was the subject of a previous blog post) and read it out loud.The only way I know how to describe how it went was that it was very well received-dare I say I think they were surprised and impressed by the letter. Mr. L. asked my daughter if he could use her letter( with out her name) as an example to his other students on how to self advocate.My daughter’s smile filled the room as she nodded in response.My heart was full with pride.That’s our girl- she is so awesome I thought really loud trying not to saying anything. I’m her mother I am naturally biased as I should be. I was so proud to be at that meeting for her and with her. Most everything in her IEP will remain the same until she is re evaluated.Some accommodations were suggested to be changed. Our daughter explained why those accommodations worked for her and needed to stay a part of her IEP. Her father and I also gave our reasons that supported hers. My daughter’s sped teacher Mr. L. couldn’t be a better choice of a special education teacher for our daughter. That’s not to say she hasn’t had good special education teachers in the past, she has. The best ones though are the ones that she hasn’t felt the need to explain her self to and how she learns differently. Where she doesn’t have to teach them about the way that she processes and learns. It would be common to think that if some one is a special education teacher of course they must have the knowledge and education to understand. That is not always the case it hasn’t been for my daughter and it wasn’t for me and isn’t for many students unfortunately. She hasn’t had to with Mr. L. and she trusts him and that is huge for her and our whole family. I left the meeting feeling proud of our daughter and at ease content even. Honestly how well the meeting went is still sinking in. Our daughters 6th grade year is almost over and I have to say it has for the most part has gone well with a few minor hiccups (so far) and many happy surprises as well.
My daughter’s IEP meeting was scheduled for tomorrow at 2:00 pm due to the snow storm school was canceled for today and tomorrow. So her IEP meeting will need to be rescheduled. She has been attending her IEP meetings since she was in the 4th grade.
My daughter asked me to help her write a letter on the computer for her IEP meeting.Who could say no to that. Certainly not this proud Momma.
Here is my daughter’s letter that we wrote together. I am replacing her name with Md for(my daughter)
Md wanted to write a letter about what is working for her in 6th grade for her IEP meeting.
Md and I (her mother) are writing this letter together.The following words were written after she explained what she wanted the letter to say about the way that she learns.
Here are a few things Md wanted you to know about her and how she learns that may not be written in her IEP.
Md has learning differences/disabilities and is slower to process what she sees and hears and because of that it affects her working memory taking her longer to remember what she sees and hears impacts HOW she learns. Something as simple as having extra/extended time and an organized structured enviroment helps her not only maintain her focus so she can learn but also helps her to feel confident in her self and how she is learning.
In Md’s own words.
Having Mr.L. as my case manager and advisory teacher and CWC teacher (class with in a class) has helped me a lot because I can ask him for help whenever I need it. He always makes time.I can also ask him questions about my accommodations and modifications and how they work in different classes. He understands me and how I process and learn.Knowing I don’t have to explain myself and that he understands has helped me gain confidence. Having extended time has helped me organize my time, use it affectively and has been a tool to help me improve my executive functioning skills. Having extended time on test has helped me to be my most successful this year. There has been many times where it has taken me longer than one class period to take a test. Where without it my test would’ve been turned in incomplete and in turn affect my overall grade in that class.
I am very grateful to have extended time to get to and from my classes. It helps me stay focused and not be so anxious. I’m able to organize everything I need for my classes as well as organize my time better. With the extra minute I am able to go to my locker and make it to and from class on time.
Having extended time has helped me be a better and happier me.
Thank you
Md
My daughter is dyslexic has SPD visual processing disorder and other LD
She understands that many school districts and those in Special ED do not accept specific diagnoses like dyslexia SPD ADD LD just to name a few. So she wanted to use simple terms that wouldn’t be questioned in her letter.
I am very proud of her for coming up with the idea to write the letter and that she asked me to help her. Here is hoping the others who attend her IEP meeting will appreciate her efforts as much as I do.
The last post I wrote was about LD ADD IEP’s and my daughters middle school experience. I have an up date of sorts to that post regarding my daughter and P.E. Last friday I went out with a friend for Tea/Coffee and when I returned home there was a message from my daughter that she had been hit in the head yet again she said she was ok.When she got home I noticed that her glasses frames have a crack in them and that they are indeed broken. No one had noticed all day not the PE teacher or the nurse her dad or brother.My poor girl broke down and was so upset.I promptly emailed her PE teacher letting her know that as a result of my daughter getting hit in head/face her glasses were broken. Wearable yes but they have a deep crack in them and are technically broken. My daughters vision best corrected with glasses isn’t 20/20.She has low vision with out her glasses. The lenses she needs are so thick that every time she gets new frames her lenses must be sent to a special lab where they are ground down and fitted to her new frames.Her broken frames are wearable however the weight of her lenses presses on the weak broken part near the nose piece.I called the optical shop/Doctors office to see what could be done and the told us to come in so they could look at the frames.The man who worked with us was wonderful. He made several phone calls and was able to track down replacement frames to order for her. It will take 7 to 10 days for them to come in but if nothing happens to her current lenses they can be put into the new frames. She has an appointment with her ophthalmologist this afternoon. I plan on asking for a doctor’s note so my daughter can have an alternative lesson plan in PE until she has replacement frames and or prescription sport glasses for PE.
My daughter decided for her IEP meeting on Friday that she wanted to write a letter on the computer with my help about how having an IEP and special ed is supporting her in being a successful student and having a good school year so far. We worked on it together over the weekend I must say I am very proud of her. she is a good self advocate and knows what her educational needs are and appreciates when they are supported and met. I think that my uneasiness about the upcoming IEP meeting has subsided mostly. My daughters confidence has helped bring me to that point.IEP meeting are part of the special education process. Here is to hoping that everyone at the meeting will be as impressed with my daughter-how well she is doing her self advocation skills and self-confidence as her father and I are.
So this post isn’t one of my random post exactly but it is a post about my daughters experience( and my observations) so far with middle school and being in special education and having an IEP.
My daughter is towards the end of 6th grade-how’d that happen? Her yearly IEP meeting is next Friday. I have mixed feelings about it.I always do. I get nervous because I want to be prepared for any and everything. The reality is that is not possible but I am her mother and like I should I always try.
Here are some of the positives
My daughter is doing REALLY well academically. At the moment she has straight A’s. I’ve always known that with the right tools and support that she could make/ accomplish straight A’s
She is reading book series that her ETC. brother read in the 6th grade. Not only that she is reading them confidently she is also discussing them with her brother. That is SO AWESOME to me!
Her Sped- Special Education teacher (that is in charge of her IEP) is SO AWESOME! Seriously I wish he could be her sped teacher throughout middle school but unfortunately that is not how the system works. He understands our daughter and she likes and trust him and so do I and that’s HUGE for our whole family. Every time I see him I just want to give him a hug-yes he is that AWESOME.
So far her locker hasn’t been a problem neither has lunch.
She is thriving at advocating for herself at school as well as communicating with adults.
She is getting her homework completed and feeling confident about what she is learning. Another awesome thing.
Her accommodations and modifications extended time for test and extended passing time to get to and from class that are part of her current IEP are working really well. Due to her having them she is having a successful 6th grade year academically.
For the most part things are going really well for her and I don’t want that to change.
So here are some of my concerns.
Any changes to her current IEP regarding her accommodations and modifications and extended time for taking test and getting to class and from class could rock the so far smooth sailing boat and jeopardise how well things have been going for her academically as well as affect her self-confidence.
P.E. could be going better for her. I am grateful that it is only for one semester. My daughter has SPD sensory processing disorder/visual processing disorder as well as developmental Dyspraxia.Dyspraxia is common for children and adults who also dyslexic.Adults and children who have ADD are also 50% more likely to also have Dyspraxia.
Developmental Dyspraxia affects my daughters fine motor skills and over all coordination then add her issues with her vision-Her best corrected vision with glasses is NOT 20/20 with out her glasses she has low vision.she can see colors shadows and shapes but very little detail. I have told her P.E. teacher about all of this via email.
P. E. started in January and so far she has been hit in the head with a ball 3 or 4 times I’ve lost count and she has been knocked down and stepped on by someone twice her size.
Accidents happen I know but so do concussions and ABI’s acquired brain injuries and injuries to ones vision. In my opinion the LAST thing my daughter needs is to be hit in the head with a ball or any object EVER but I am her mother. I know I cant prevent accidents from happening to her.
Socially my daughter is guarded and shy. She doesn’t make friends easily. She is a wise girl in many ways and isn’t on the same page as many of her peers. She doesn’t fit into the typical average category/box and for the most part that is an awesome thing except when it comes to making new friends in middle school.
I realise and understand that there is nothing in her IEP that can help her with that.
That doesn’t change the fact that I have concerns about her being LD her social development and how it all could affect her self-esteem. Middle school isn’t easy it simply isn’t.
I remind my self to be present in the moment and appreciate all of her hard-earned achievements her success and how well she is doing overall academically.
So as I always do I will prepare for the IEP meeting and advocate for my daughter the best way I know how. I will remind myself what an awesome self advocate my daughter is and that when you know what you need and have persistence and determination anything is possible.
So if you’ve read my About and my other blog post you know I am interested in researching and reading about all things LD ADD ETC (gifted education) special education Autism & other special needs developmental delays and the like. I find them very fascinating and interesting.To be honest with you I can’t understand why someone wouldn’t be. I follow and like many blogs and web pages on facebook and on line about them.Anything that can fall under those subjects are the main things I read about.With the exception of crafting and Art . I don’t find myself reading much fiction anymore.I was part of an online discussion about Special Education yesterday.A single working mom asked a question about IEPs and 504s. During the discussion comments were made about how most school districts don’t recognise Dyslexia as a learning disability even though IDEA 2004 states Dyslexia as a SPD specific learning disability and that students with a diagnoses of Dyslexia have a diagnoses of a SLD. Repetitive I know.This is my concern revisions are being made to the DSM 5. This past December my husband read an article in the news paper that said Dyslexia would still be listed as a SLD in the revised DSM5 I’ve read otherwise on the internet recently.I don’t know what to beleive.From what I’ve read the final new revised DSM5 will come out in May of this year. What will it all mean for students with Dyslexia and their families? Will the IEP process change? Will 504’s be an option that districts won’t avoid giving to students who don’t qualify for an IEP due to there not being a large enough discrepancy to meet the out dated discrepancy formula?
We shall see.What I do know is that no matter what the changes come to be to the DSM 5 they will effect a lot of students and their families.
My daughter & I are both dyslexic & we have LD- learning disabilities.My daughter also has SPD sensory processing disorder more specifically visual processing disorder.We took her to a developmental specialist and had her independently evaluated she was diagnosed with LD when she was five.I had an IEP (individual education plan) all through school.When my daughter was in kindergarten towards the end of the year she was evaluated through school for an IEP.She didn’t meet the criteria the discrepancy formula and did not qualify. I was very unhappy & unsatisfied with that out come. I mentioned this to another mom & she said – That’s good right?- that means she’s ok. No it didn’t. It was not ok because my daughter couldn’t identify all the letters in the alphabet at the end of her kindergarten year let alone read.
I didn’t expect that response from that mom and it made me think a lot & I understood my own perspective & why I had it so much more than before.I saw an IEP as insurance-a safety net-a guarantee even that my educational needs would be met. That I would have the help accommodations & modifications that I needed and I always did.Did I need to advocate for myself to insure that -absolutely.I had always had an IEP all through school.We moved a lot I went to many schools & my IEP was constant.Of course I was re evaluated over the years details changed goals were met but I never fazed out..there was always a discrepancy I always had an IEP.So naturally when I saw similarities in my struggle to learn and how my daughter was struggling with learning.I knew what I needed to do.Take her to a specialist & request an evaluation at school and that’s exactly what I did. Our family was on a six month waiting list to see the specialist. When the appointment arrived the Dr. agreed that she needed to be evaluated.Many diagnoses were discussed & given along with referrals to other specialist.All the while I was communicating with the school about our concerns.Back to when she was evaluated& didn’t qualify for the IEP.We continued to take her to see the specialist& made sure her teachers were aware that she was receiving services outside of school.She was re evaluated the following year to changes in her vision& in my opinion her SPD / visual processing disorder becoming more of an issue in the class room.She qualified for an IEP there was a discrepancy.I remember the relief I felt when we signed the IEP.I had hope that they could finally address her educational needs.Her progress was slow but her determination was a powerful force.When she had teachers & paras she could trust & bond with she wouldn’t give up no matter how hard she struggled.The summer before third grade boundaries changed in our district and our kids had to change schools.We enrolled her in a special program for kids with LD not covered by health insurance recommended by her specialist that we had been taking her to sense kindergarten.It was a costly endeavor but we knew if we didn’t try everything possible to help her learn that her self-esteem & future would be negatively affected.Most importantly I wanted to instill in her that she was deserving of any and all help she needed. The special program did help her confidence and prepared her to continue trying to learn to read no matter how hard it was.Her 3rd grade year was her most successful up to that point and her determination continued to grow. She had a teachers and para’s who understood her and who enjoyed having her as a student. She also had a special education team who also understood her and she bonded with. For my daughter all of those things fitting together was SO important to her having a sucessful transition to a new school.My hope for her continued to grow as well.Fourth grade came along with more unexpected changes. A new special education teacher and IEP team members.My daugter liked her new special education teacher but she wasnt always sure that her new sped teacher understood her and what her needs were.I continued to encourage my daughter to communicate and self advocate and she did.Fourth grade as a whole was a challenge for various reasons and on many levels not much change was made as far as her LD/ dyslexia and reading ability was concerned.She grew very frustrated with the amounts of homework. Even with accommodations & modifications she was bringing home on average 14 pages a week and no more time to complete the home work than other students.Emails were sent meeting were scheduled without much change.That summer appointments were made for her with more specialist & doctors.Fifth grade started and everything was going well.She was coming home happy. She had less home work and for our daughter and our family in turn had less stress.She had a teacher who instantly understood her and she bonded with.I was so relieved and happy.As her mother I felt like she and I were finally in a place where her education/ special education was concerned we both could relax.Parent teacher conferences were scheduled & we found out the most amazing news.Her reading level that had been at a stand still had taken off not a little a lot.At the end of 4th grade she had been at a 3rd grade reading level.Her reading level had jumped to a 5th grade level- 2 years growth! I teared up I pinched myself I was in awe – I always knew the spark was there – I never doubted she could get where she needed to be. My concern had always been would we find the right educators, the right tools the right approach to help her? Proud doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt. I told my daughter how awesomely amazing she was! I hugged her teacher- every person at the conference was beaming! In my own mind I was wondering what this would mean for her future…her problems with spelling,her executive functioning and processing issues hadn’t disappeared.Her need for accommodations & modifications hadn’t left on a permanent vacation. She was succeeding and her confidence was growing and that was absolutely wonderful. What was far from wonderful was the uncertainty that I felt.In the state where we live the (out dated in my opinion) discrepancy formula is still used to determine who qualifies for and IEP.If the discrepancy is no longer found when my daughter is re evaluated even though she has a SLD (specified learning disability/Dyslexia) how I understand it she will no longer qualify for an IEP.Worry concering this fact has been fueling anxiety in my heart and mind ever since.I’ve tried my best to compartmentalize it to the back of my mind and remind myself that it is not in front of us yet.for the most part Ive been able to remember that and keep the worry at bay. Here we are towards the end of her 6th grade year several times a year certain test are given for reading.Last week my daughter comes home and tells me that she is very concerned because she took a reading test on the computer that day and felt like she wasnt sucessful.She couldnt de code words and ran out of time to complete the test.I tell her not to worry and to advocate for herself by telling her special education teacher her concerns.that following day she brings home information about the test and how she did. Her worry was unnecessary she had made vast improvements and her reading level had advanced. It was wonderful news on one hand and concerning news on the other on how it could affect her IEP.She had another unrelated issue at school that I sent an email about. Her special education teacher called to check in about and discuss my daughters progress and upcoming parent teacher conferences. When I got off the phone my heart was full of gratitude and I had an even greater appreciation for my daughters special education teacher.I think at least for now we are at a point where-my daughter and our family can pause the special education IEP rollercoaster and enjoy the beauty of her acheivements.
Last Friday was my husbands birthday we were having a day out together while our kids were in school. We went to a shopping center and we went into a gift shop and looked around found the cards we needed and got in line to check out and pay for our items and this is what I observed. The young women behind the counter was ringing up purchases of a customer who I am assuming is younger than myself and is an acquaintance/old friend of the sales clerk.There was small talk so nice to see you how are you and then the acquaintance asks the young lady behind the counter how’s school and she says wonderful I will start student teaching in the spring..and the acquaintance asks what will you be teaching? The young woman replies Special Education with a smile. This next part really bothered me mind you I am waiting in line hanging out with my husband on his birthday attempting to not be so observant. The acquaintance has this to say to the smiling young sales clerk-Bless your heart with a I feel sorry for you tone and then something about that she will pray for her…I am standing there and it took everything out of me to act as though I didn’t just hear what she said.I didn’t say anything and I so regret it now. I didn’t want to embarase the smiling young sales clerk or act like a horses behind…If my daughter would’ve been with me I wonder what I would’ve said to her… I have a feeling I would’ve said something to her in the moment that would’ve gotten others attention.When I think about what I observed the ignorance of it make me wonder how many other people still think that way. How wide-spread is the ignorance?If a child has a special education teacher that they are some one deserving of pity merely because they learn differently than the typical average student really??? The last time I looked it isn’t 1959… but I witnessed someone with an attitude as though it were.The gift shop wasn’t empty we waited for a while in line and I am thinking there could be most likely were other people in the store who are Dyslexic like me or have a child who has special needs is LD ADD or Autistic.It is not like dyslexia learning disabilities ADD special needs or Autism are visible that you can tell just by looking at some one… the more I have thought about it over the last few days the more upset I’ve gotten and I realised that I know I am not the only one who would be bothered by this and what I should have said to the women was- Different is just different not good or bad and certainly not less. Just like I have always told my kids. I am not less or bad neither is my daughter or others who have LD ADD Autism or other special needs.We are not inferior- We are merely outside the box and I for one like it here -outside the box it’s all I’ve ever known.
I surprised myself yesterday.I have always struggled with math concepts and strategies and as a child diagnosed with LD/Dyslexia I was also diagnosed with Dyscacluila. Dycalculia is a LD that has to do with numbers and math.
My daughter who has LD is a 6th grader in middle school, She is in a regular math class that is a CWC class with in a class meaning there is a regular teacher and a special education teacher who teach the class together.
My daughter was home sick from school yesterday.Her math teacher sends emails when there is home work with the home work attatched.We really enjoy this math teacher-she is awesome. So I find the email and print the attachment so she can do the home work assignment. She tries to understand it on her own. She gets frustrated. Then asks her brother for help who learns and understands math very differently than her and that doesn’t help. I know her dad who usually helps her with her math won’t be home until late and will be leaving for a boy scout meeting shortly after.So I offer to try to help her( I havent been confident in being able to help her with math home work since she was in third grade mind you).This is where I surprised my self. So this is what the math was- Turning and improper fraction into a mixed number.Sounded like an alien language to me. I havent had to do any type of fractions on paper in many years decades even.
Here is the example that was given
the fraction 11/3 is really 11 divided by 3.3 will go into 11 3 full times with 2 left over so 11/3 becomes 3 and 2/3
Still looks like an alien language that is beyond me but I know we are in a limited situation here. My daughter missed a day of school right before the end of the trister and has 2 days to finish all make up work in all classes so waiting isn’t a good option.
So I pull out the scrap paper and markers and ask her to give me a few problems to try to see if I can understand how to figure out what is common about the math problems.I still can’t believe that by the third problem I figured it out.I am still in shock.. I learned a long time ago that using different colored sharpies/ makers helps me visually figure out and remember what I write down.With math problems it makes things clearer and less confusing.
For most people it wouldn’t be a big deal but for me it was HUGE.Not only did I figure it out but I was able to show my daughter how I figured it out through story telling. That is how I have always helped my kids with their homework.I explained it by saying that the numbers had to move to different locations/houses to get a long and do their job effectively and she got it she understood what I meant! Even better when her dad got home she was able to tell him all about our math adventure and that she had completed her math homework!
So I came to the conclusion that you really can learn something new every day if you are willing to try.I also learned that you can teach an old dog(or mom like me with LD) new tricks.
I must say I am very grateful for that realization because it gives me hope.
I’ve been thinking about how finding and reading the right book at the right time can change your life or at least your perspective. I know I have been fortunate to have that happen to me many times. About two years ago I had that happen. I will never forget it or the friend who helped me find it. I wonder if she knows what a wonderful gift she gave me by inviting us to go with her and her family to the library. There is a wonderful library in a city near where I live.My daughter described it best when she said Mom it’s so beautiful here It’s like an art museum for books. She’s right it truly is. It is a place my friend frequents and loves. We were there for a while and I’m near the children’s section and I find this book. The EVERYTHING Parent’s Guide to Children with Dyslexia by Abigail Marshall. I had a light bulb moment when I saw it I got butterflies when I picked it up and as I started to flip through the pages. I was giddy I remember thinking this isn’t just any book this is a book that will make a difference and I was right it did and it has. With my dyslexia and LD I have a hard time with comprehension and retaining and remembering what I read. Typiclly I read a chapter two to three times before I move on to the next one. Especially non fiction. I have a hard time reading in order from chapter to chapter reading a book in order from front to back so I usually look through the table of contents and read over the titles of chapters and information in them and start from there. I chapter hop until I’ve read the whole book when it’s a nonfiction book. That’s just what I did with this book.I remembering finding descriptions of myself and how I learn in it’s pages.I also remember finding my daughter and similarities in how she learns and examples of struggles she has had. I even found things that reminded me of my ETC. son who’s considered gifted.This book changed my life. It changed how I looked at being dyslexic and how I advocate for my daughter. I now own a copy of this book it has been well read over and over.It has been lent to friends and referenced in many conversations. As well as toted to doctors appointments and IEP meetings. Many notes and various pieces of scrap paper, post it notes and book marks share space between it’s pages.I have learned so much from this book. Most of all finding this book gave me hope and encouragement.As well as a better understanding of dyslexia and related conditions and types of LD when I greatly needed it. Have you ever had a similar experience where you’ve found and read a book that changed your life or perspective?
I’d love to hear about it if you have please share and leave a comment.
LD ADD ETC 