Last week I had planned to write this blog post.I am someone who battles chronic migraines.Yesterday afternoon this migraine started with medication my migraines last 3 to 5 days.I didn’t want this migraine to change my plans.I am attempting to write this post regardless of how I’m feeling because the topic is very important to me.Today is world Autism Awareness & Acceptance day.Last October I wrote a blog post
One of my favorite people is Autisic.
I wanted to write todays post to honor him and his family.As well as the many families around the world who have a family member who has an Autism/Autism spectrum diagnosis. One of my favorite people that my previous post was written for who I refered to as Hunter is 13 & in the 7th grade. He is an amaising young man.
With or with out his diagnosis he would be amaising to me. Hunter has a big heart.He knows what he likes & doesn’t like. In many ways he’s a typical teenage boy and in just as many ways he’s extraordinary & unique. There are so many things that define who he is besides Autism.He is caring & funny devoted and loyal. Hunter is a valuable member of his church youth group.
An excellent honor roll student.
He’s involved in many groups and clubs at school and in his community. If you were to meet Hunter you may not realize that he is autistic. Autism by some is seen/ thought of as an invisible disability/ difference.It is not something that is a given by how someone appears physically. Invisible or not Autism is not a choice. Someone with Autism is different not less. As a parent who is an adult with differences & was a child who was & felt different. I raise my children to accept and embrace differences in themselves and others. I tell them that accepting others as you would want others to be accepting of you is one of the most important things you can do everyday to be your best.Our differences make us who we are as individuals.Everyone has their own set of limitations and challenges. Our differences may give us challenges but those challenges aren’t the only things that define who we are. How we accept differences in ourselves and others and matters much more than what they are. Everyone matters. Understanding tolerance and acceptance are universal.
I wrote my last post- My Daughter’s IEP meeting- right after we got home from the meeting. I didn’t get to share many of the details and reasons why it couldn’t have gone better.Partly I think because I hadn’t given myself enough time to process it all. For many years IEP meetings for my daughter would make me feel nervous ill at ease and on the defensive. Like a threatened mama bear trying to protect her cub. I am not just any mama bear I’ve been to this rodeo before, heck I grew up at the rodeo that is special education. I am of the first generation of students who had special education in school that resembles what it is like today. Not in just one state mind you. My dad was in the military and over the course of my childhood we lived in 10 states and another country. From kindergarten to graduation I was educated in 7 of those places but more that 7 different schools by the time I was in 6th grade like my daughter it was elementary school for me not middle school like for my daughter I had 13 different teachers not including special education teachers and electives teachers.Back to my daughters IEP meeting. We were greeted by the receptionist in the office and shortly after by Mr. L. my daughter’s sped teacher/case manager and other important people who needed to be there also arrived.My daughter had been called to come to the office for the meeting.She arrived to join the meeting and I handed out the letter that my daughter and I wrote together( that was the subject of a previous blog post) and read it out loud.The only way I know how to describe how it went was that it was very well received-dare I say I think they were surprised and impressed by the letter. Mr. L. asked my daughter if he could use her letter( with out her name) as an example to his other students on how to self advocate.My daughter’s smile filled the room as she nodded in response.My heart was full with pride.That’s our girl- she is so awesome I thought really loud trying not to saying anything. I’m her mother I am naturally biased as I should be. I was so proud to be at that meeting for her and with her. Most everything in her IEP will remain the same until she is re evaluated.Some accommodations were suggested to be changed. Our daughter explained why those accommodations worked for her and needed to stay a part of her IEP. Her father and I also gave our reasons that supported hers. My daughter’s sped teacher Mr. L. couldn’t be a better choice of a special education teacher for our daughter. That’s not to say she hasn’t had good special education teachers in the past, she has. The best ones though are the ones that she hasn’t felt the need to explain her self to and how she learns differently. Where she doesn’t have to teach them about the way that she processes and learns. It would be common to think that if some one is a special education teacher of course they must have the knowledge and education to understand. That is not always the case it hasn’t been for my daughter and it wasn’t for me and isn’t for many students unfortunately. She hasn’t had to with Mr. L. and she trusts him and that is huge for her and our whole family. I left the meeting feeling proud of our daughter and at ease content even. Honestly how well the meeting went is still sinking in. Our daughters 6th grade year is almost over and I have to say it has for the most part has gone well with a few minor hiccups (so far) and many happy surprises as well.
We just got home from my Daughter’s IEP meeting.
I really don’t think it could have gone any better than it did- seriously it was fantastic.
Everything will pretty much remain the same untill she is due to be re evaluated/ tested at the end of her 8th grade year or begining of highschool. In the past when my daughter was younger we had some stressful IEP meetings where the word no and phrases she doesn’t qualify & we can’t provide that for her were used.The way we handled them was to research & write letters.Sometimes handling them that way helped sometimes not so much. I think there are key reasons why this IEP meeting went so well.One of the reasons simply being middle school is different & the way special ed works is different than elementary school there are many different factors that aren’t the same.Ofcourse in middle school you have multiple teachers not just one and your sped(special education teacher)
does push ins meaning comes into a regular class room to work with students or may assist in teaching the class with the regular teacher.
Less attention is put on leaving the class room for special individual instruction.My daughter knows that if she needs help all she has to do is ask her teacher or her special education teacher.Knowing that & being confident has helped my daughter so much.She is a natural at self advocating.I couldn’t be more proud of her.No matter what the future may hold for my daughter’s education I am confident that she will be able to not only handle it but thrive as well.
For me as her mother that is all I could ask for – I s to know without a doubt that she has the confidence & tools she needs to handle what ever may land in her path.
This post is partially about a topic that is over looked/ taken lighty in my opinion because of its commonality. Vision/vision health and how it impacts a child and how they learn as well as how that can affect many aspects of their lives not merely how they see. This post is also about my kids and their vision LD SPD& ETC
Both my son who’s ETC(considered gifted) and my daughter who is dyslexic SPD & LD & has dyspraxia. Ware glasses and need to all of the time they both have considerable prescription lenses for their glasses.
It is not as simple as – oh your kids ware glasses.No my kids must ware glasses. My daughter without her glasses can’t identify who some one is if she doesn’t have her glasses on and you don’t speak to her.This has been weighing on my mind a lot lately.In my more recent post I’ve written about my daughter’s glasses getting broke in PE after being hit in the head with a kick ball. With out her glasses my daughter’s vision is 20/400 in each eye.There was a time when she was younger where her best corrected vision with glasses was 20/70 that is low vision/ visually impaired.We were told that could be as good as it would get. Fortunately that changed and her best corrected vision has improved greatly & slowly over the past 5 years.It fluctuates back & forth between 20/40 20/30 & 20/25 best corrected with her glasses.As her Doctor reminds me the goal is 20/20 best corrected but that is not possible for everyone. My daughter’s vision has had an impact on many aspects of her life. When most of her peers were learning to read and spell she was trying to maneuver hallways & stairs. We were taking her to multiple optimaligist trying to figure out how to best meet her needs.Her vision changed rapidly in both directions like a vision rollercoaster.When many kids her age were learning to swim,ride a bicycle & play sports she was struggling to figure out what she could see and waiting for new lenses for her glasses. All of this with signs of SPD ( sensory processing disorder)& LD – learning disabilities)That makes sense.Even though SPD is more typically identified in children with out vision and or hearing impairments.A child can have both. Both of my kids do.
My daughter’s SPD issues are very different than my sons.My sons are more hyper- sensitivities with touch and smell. Some but not all have gotten better with time & he has gained coping skills for. For my daughter it has always been hypo/ under developed with touch vision and auditory.Her SPD issues have improved some but still affect her daily life. The more research I do on SPD Dyslexia dyspraxia & LD the more I understand that like fibers in a tapestry all of these things are woven together with similarities that make up the bigger picture of how each of my kids learn differently from average and differently from one another.
My daughter’s IEP meeting was scheduled for tomorrow at 2:00 pm due to the snow storm school was canceled for today and tomorrow. So her IEP meeting will need to be rescheduled. She has been attending her IEP meetings since she was in the 4th grade.
My daughter asked me to help her write a letter on the computer for her IEP meeting.Who could say no to that. Certainly not this proud Momma.
Here is my daughter’s letter that we wrote together. I am replacing her name with Md for(my daughter)
Md wanted to write a letter about what is working for her in 6th grade for her IEP meeting.
Md and I (her mother) are writing this letter together.The following words were written after she explained what she wanted the letter to say about the way that she learns.
Here are a few things Md wanted you to know about her and how she learns that may not be written in her IEP.
Md has learning differences/disabilities and is slower to process what she sees and hears and because of that it affects her working memory taking her longer to remember what she sees and hears impacts HOW she learns. Something as simple as having extra/extended time and an organized structured enviroment helps her not only maintain her focus so she can learn but also helps her to feel confident in her self and how she is learning.
In Md’s own words.
Having Mr.L. as my case manager and advisory teacher and CWC teacher (class with in a class) has helped me a lot because I can ask him for help whenever I need it. He always makes time.I can also ask him questions about my accommodations and modifications and how they work in different classes. He understands me and how I process and learn.Knowing I don’t have to explain myself and that he understands has helped me gain confidence. Having extended time has helped me organize my time, use it affectively and has been a tool to help me improve my executive functioning skills. Having extended time on test has helped me to be my most successful this year. There has been many times where it has taken me longer than one class period to take a test. Where without it my test would’ve been turned in incomplete and in turn affect my overall grade in that class.
I am very grateful to have extended time to get to and from my classes. It helps me stay focused and not be so anxious. I’m able to organize everything I need for my classes as well as organize my time better. With the extra minute I am able to go to my locker and make it to and from class on time.
Having extended time has helped me be a better and happier me.
Thank you
Md
My daughter is dyslexic has SPD visual processing disorder and other LD
She understands that many school districts and those in Special ED do not accept specific diagnoses like dyslexia SPD ADD LD just to name a few. So she wanted to use simple terms that wouldn’t be questioned in her letter.
I am very proud of her for coming up with the idea to write the letter and that she asked me to help her. Here is hoping the others who attend her IEP meeting will appreciate her efforts as much as I do.
The last post I wrote was about LD ADD IEP’s and my daughters middle school experience. I have an up date of sorts to that post regarding my daughter and P.E. Last friday I went out with a friend for Tea/Coffee and when I returned home there was a message from my daughter that she had been hit in the head yet again she said she was ok.When she got home I noticed that her glasses frames have a crack in them and that they are indeed broken. No one had noticed all day not the PE teacher or the nurse her dad or brother.My poor girl broke down and was so upset.I promptly emailed her PE teacher letting her know that as a result of my daughter getting hit in head/face her glasses were broken. Wearable yes but they have a deep crack in them and are technically broken. My daughters vision best corrected with glasses isn’t 20/20.She has low vision with out her glasses. The lenses she needs are so thick that every time she gets new frames her lenses must be sent to a special lab where they are ground down and fitted to her new frames.Her broken frames are wearable however the weight of her lenses presses on the weak broken part near the nose piece.I called the optical shop/Doctors office to see what could be done and the told us to come in so they could look at the frames.The man who worked with us was wonderful. He made several phone calls and was able to track down replacement frames to order for her. It will take 7 to 10 days for them to come in but if nothing happens to her current lenses they can be put into the new frames. She has an appointment with her ophthalmologist this afternoon. I plan on asking for a doctor’s note so my daughter can have an alternative lesson plan in PE until she has replacement frames and or prescription sport glasses for PE.
My daughter decided for her IEP meeting on Friday that she wanted to write a letter on the computer with my help about how having an IEP and special ed is supporting her in being a successful student and having a good school year so far. We worked on it together over the weekend I must say I am very proud of her. she is a good self advocate and knows what her educational needs are and appreciates when they are supported and met. I think that my uneasiness about the upcoming IEP meeting has subsided mostly. My daughters confidence has helped bring me to that point.IEP meeting are part of the special education process. Here is to hoping that everyone at the meeting will be as impressed with my daughter-how well she is doing her self advocation skills and self-confidence as her father and I are.
So this post isn’t one of my random post exactly but it is a post about my daughters experience( and my observations) so far with middle school and being in special education and having an IEP.
My daughter is towards the end of 6th grade-how’d that happen? Her yearly IEP meeting is next Friday. I have mixed feelings about it.I always do. I get nervous because I want to be prepared for any and everything. The reality is that is not possible but I am her mother and like I should I always try.
Here are some of the positives
My daughter is doing REALLY well academically. At the moment she has straight A’s. I’ve always known that with the right tools and support that she could make/ accomplish straight A’s
She is reading book series that her ETC. brother read in the 6th grade. Not only that she is reading them confidently she is also discussing them with her brother. That is SO AWESOME to me!
Her Sped- Special Education teacher (that is in charge of her IEP) is SO AWESOME! Seriously I wish he could be her sped teacher throughout middle school but unfortunately that is not how the system works. He understands our daughter and she likes and trust him and so do I and that’s HUGE for our whole family. Every time I see him I just want to give him a hug-yes he is that AWESOME.
So far her locker hasn’t been a problem neither has lunch.
She is thriving at advocating for herself at school as well as communicating with adults.
She is getting her homework completed and feeling confident about what she is learning. Another awesome thing.
Her accommodations and modifications extended time for test and extended passing time to get to and from class that are part of her current IEP are working really well. Due to her having them she is having a successful 6th grade year academically.
For the most part things are going really well for her and I don’t want that to change.
So here are some of my concerns.
Any changes to her current IEP regarding her accommodations and modifications and extended time for taking test and getting to class and from class could rock the so far smooth sailing boat and jeopardise how well things have been going for her academically as well as affect her self-confidence.
P.E. could be going better for her. I am grateful that it is only for one semester. My daughter has SPD sensory processing disorder/visual processing disorder as well as developmental Dyspraxia.Dyspraxia is common for children and adults who also dyslexic.Adults and children who have ADD are also 50% more likely to also have Dyspraxia.
Developmental Dyspraxia affects my daughters fine motor skills and over all coordination then add her issues with her vision-Her best corrected vision with glasses is NOT 20/20 with out her glasses she has low vision.she can see colors shadows and shapes but very little detail. I have told her P.E. teacher about all of this via email.
P. E. started in January and so far she has been hit in the head with a ball 3 or 4 times I’ve lost count and she has been knocked down and stepped on by someone twice her size.
Accidents happen I know but so do concussions and ABI’s acquired brain injuries and injuries to ones vision. In my opinion the LAST thing my daughter needs is to be hit in the head with a ball or any object EVER but I am her mother. I know I cant prevent accidents from happening to her.
Socially my daughter is guarded and shy. She doesn’t make friends easily. She is a wise girl in many ways and isn’t on the same page as many of her peers. She doesn’t fit into the typical average category/box and for the most part that is an awesome thing except when it comes to making new friends in middle school.
I realise and understand that there is nothing in her IEP that can help her with that.
That doesn’t change the fact that I have concerns about her being LD her social development and how it all could affect her self-esteem. Middle school isn’t easy it simply isn’t.
I remind my self to be present in the moment and appreciate all of her hard-earned achievements her success and how well she is doing overall academically.
So as I always do I will prepare for the IEP meeting and advocate for my daughter the best way I know how. I will remind myself what an awesome self advocate my daughter is and that when you know what you need and have persistence and determination anything is possible.
Depression is a complex complicated thing.
Nothing simple about it.
If it were simple I would expect it to be something else entirely.
Not something to hide
Or to fear
Or to question
Is it getting worse or better.
There would be no need to ask family – how am I doing?
Or on the flip side others walking on egg shells asking –
Are you ok?
But something to acknowledge
With out the need for anonymity.
With out shame
If it were something else
There would be hope for more
Hope for much better
than what the reality of an ongoing struggle.
That for those of us with support are able to face one day at a time with out over blown expectations.
That it will fade away – lift like a fog
There can be security in facing it as it comes acknowledging that It’s not a choice anyone would choose
Accepting what you can’t change moment by moment.
Todays post is one of my random topic post. I started this post awhile ago & took a break from it.Here I am to attempt to finish writting it.
I had a conversation with some one about expectations of others.We all know the saying – If you don’t expect much of someone you won’t be as disappointed. I think everyone does this sometimes.There are certain people in my life that it is a constant practice for me. In the conversation about expectations of others they were expressing their disappointment in someone not meeting their expectations. In turn this person was critical not only of that person but of me as well. What it told me was that there is something they are dissatisfied about themselves & are projecting that dissatisfaction on to others. Including me.I thought about that conversation and my feelings hurt and other wise regarding it a great deal and this is what I came up with as a response.Much of it I had figured out long ago but not how to explain it to the person I was having the conversation with.
Making someone feel bad about who they are or shaming them doesn’t have the power to & won’t make them into who you want them to be
You can’t make others change for you or themselves.Only the individual can make the choice to change.
You can’t literally change someone’s behavior for them. No matter how much you may want to.The only thing you can change is your reaction to another persons behavior and choices. How you cope with how their choices and behavior affects you – you do have control over. Expectations are a natural thing to have If you find yourself being repeatedly critical of others.That’s when asking yourself who is this about them or me is helpful in resolving the real issue.
I have talked to this person several times sence that conversation & when they try to approach it & what their intentions were & were not I simply redirect the conversation .hearing about their intentions & apologies for me is a broken record that’s beyond unnecessary in our relationship.I can no longer look back because the change I need can’t be attained that way .
I simply move forward with acceptance that they are who they are and I care for them the best I know how regardless of their expectations.
So if you’ve read my About and my other blog post you know I am interested in researching and reading about all things LD ADD ETC (gifted education) special education Autism & other special needs developmental delays and the like. I find them very fascinating and interesting.To be honest with you I can’t understand why someone wouldn’t be. I follow and like many blogs and web pages on facebook and on line about them.Anything that can fall under those subjects are the main things I read about.With the exception of crafting and Art . I don’t find myself reading much fiction anymore.I was part of an online discussion about Special Education yesterday.A single working mom asked a question about IEPs and 504s. During the discussion comments were made about how most school districts don’t recognise Dyslexia as a learning disability even though IDEA 2004 states Dyslexia as a SPD specific learning disability and that students with a diagnoses of Dyslexia have a diagnoses of a SLD. Repetitive I know.This is my concern revisions are being made to the DSM 5. This past December my husband read an article in the news paper that said Dyslexia would still be listed as a SLD in the revised DSM5 I’ve read otherwise on the internet recently.I don’t know what to beleive.From what I’ve read the final new revised DSM5 will come out in May of this year. What will it all mean for students with Dyslexia and their families? Will the IEP process change? Will 504’s be an option that districts won’t avoid giving to students who don’t qualify for an IEP due to there not being a large enough discrepancy to meet the out dated discrepancy formula?
We shall see.What I do know is that no matter what the changes come to be to the DSM 5 they will effect a lot of students and their families.
LD ADD ETC 